We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
