so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I got inside last night via doggy door
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
