She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I smell stomach acid.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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