I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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