What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
