I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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