i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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