He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
