so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize