hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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