Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
