And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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