Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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