dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
