and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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