Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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