My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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