Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
