now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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