do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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