So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
