if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
