Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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