What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
