just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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