just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
