We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
