I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My feet surprised me
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