I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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