Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it