Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.

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(805): View more from California

I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"

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(303): View more from Colorado

I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.

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(325): View more from Texas

Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(808): View more from Hawaii

for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing

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(317): View more from Indiana

she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.

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