I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
