If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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