I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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