I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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