I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
