we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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