did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
