i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
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i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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