Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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