I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
