What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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