??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
