Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
there's paper in my vomit.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
