you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
