I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
