He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
