What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The uberlube is also flammable
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
