I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw a hot homeless man
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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