Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
