I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
