it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
God, I missed his penis.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
