so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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