His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
