Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
