They should really pass out barf bags in church
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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