This is not my ceiling
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
