i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
