I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
