Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
