It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
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That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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