Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
