OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can't turn off my feet"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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