Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
