idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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