Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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