He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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