If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
