He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
