I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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