you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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